"there's no quick fix when dealing with fear because regardless of what you read or hear—fear is a real emotion that doesn't go away"
If you could do anything without the parallels of emotions or consequences, what would that be?; this is a question I asked myself as I started to plan my goals and objectives for 2017. As I began to think about what I wanted to achieve for the year, I took a step back to understand why I didn't accomplish it in 2016, and it all came back to fear. Fear is a topic that I covered a lot throughout the year, and while I was very aware of my connection to it and how to work through the emotions, I didn't realize I was continuing to live in it through several aspects of my life. Here's the thing, there's no quick fix when dealing with fear because regardless of what you read or hear—fear is a real emotion that doesn't go away, and the only way to fix it is to work through it. I didn't understand this initial, but as I move forward and continue to become more aware of internal battles, I'm learning different ways to combat the emotions and grow both personally and professionally. And as I work through these conflicts, I want to share them with you in hopes that they inspire you to transform your fears into freedom.
Fear is a feeling, not a reality
One of the unexpected things I learned about fear is that it's a feeling, not a fact. Simply put, fear is all in your head; in your thinking. When you're in danger, you'll feel fear; this is a natural response, but when you're going to speak publicly, and you begin to shake or sweat, the fear is in your thinking, you're in no real danger. When you understand that the fear is in your thinking, you'll be able to create a calm to your mind that will form into clarity.
Let go and forgive
If you don't heal you cannot let go of the past, and that is true with so many of us. Letting go of the resentment and hate of the past will allow you to feel true freedom. One technique I use in letting go of the past is to fill myself with gratitude. Finding thankfulness in the smallest things allowed me to quiet the negative thoughts of fear and resentment. Once you begin to heal from the past wrongdoings, you'll need to forgive not only those who've done you wrong but forgive yourself for allowing it. Forgiveness does not mean you will allow others to hurt you; it means you can no longer let it define you. If you cannot allow room for forgiveness, you'll never heal.
Living more in the present will quiet the mind, and allow you to focus on right now rather than the future. Fear comes from thinking about an outcome that you have no control over, and with a dedicated daily practice of stillness, your silence will strengthen your presence.
Forgiveness does not mean you will allow others to hurt you; it means you can no longer let it define you.
Gratitude is a major practice in getting through fear. When you focus on what you have rather than focusing on what you don't have, your perception and mindset changes. Sharing your gifts with others and being thankful for them is the fastest way to get out of your head and into living. Start and end every day with 3-5 things you're thankful for, and when the feelings of fear arise, refocus your energy on your list.
What I learned most about fear and living fearlessly, is that you must be open to situations and outcomes not happening in the way you intended them to. Opening your mind and your heart will allow for things to flow organically. You cannot want change if you're trying to control the change you want. Be open, and let life feel you.
One thing I know for sure is that fear is real, but you have the power to free yourself of it and the mental prison it creates. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.