After three months of this post sitting in my drafts, I'm finally sitting at the counter trying to come up with the right words and how I want to say them. I've started, stopped, and deleted it so many times because the words weren't flowing, and bae constantly reminds me to not force my words or work, so I've avoided completing it until I knew it was time.
Since it's a new year, it's time.
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For me, a new year brings up the need for change and doing things differently, and while I don't believe in setting a New Year's resolution, I do believe in setting yourself up at the beginning of the year to have a successful one. But sometimes breaking old habits and creating new routines becomes so difficult that after January, we find ourselves right back to where we were weeks ago. The truth is, I found myself right back to feeling the same as I did last November and December; lost, discontent and disconnected, and searching for the next steps I needed to take to get myself where I wanted and needed to be. The difference between the year, I'm now working, making [good] money, and living what most people would consider "a good life," but in my gut, I know I'm not living my life on purpose.
The mundane routine of getting up every day, at the same time, to go to the same office, to do the same work with the same people is boring, uninspiring, and something I found myself resenting and hating. But something I need because it's the investor in the work that fuels, inspires, and motivates me to keep going. Let me be clear; I'm not one of those people who bash the 9-to-5 life, you can be [extremely] successful, love your job, and live your life on purpose doing the work you enjoy, but the corporate life isn't for me, it never was. But here we are, 12 years later and I'm still in it, but I've given myself a timeline to get out of it, and as I'm quickly approaching it, I'm feeling the pressure, but instead of focusing on the end date, I've decided to embrace life; here's how I'm doing it.
Doing the work
Doing the work sounds simple right? But it's the hardest thing to do, especially when you have the opportunity to adjust deadlines, push the [annoying] work to the back, and take breaks whenever you want. Yes, that's what I found myself doing time-after-time. I stopped holding myself accountable for the work that needed to get done, and started making excuses to why it's not done; I'm tired, I don't have time, I need help, I don't have a team, and the list can go on-and-on. But truth be told, I have everything I need to get the work done. So, for the past few weeks, that's what I did; I put my head down, enrolled in more hosting classes, started writing and creating more, and doing the things I hate to do first. It's not easy; it's exhausting and sometimes ugly, but the only thing that will get you to where you want to be is the work.
Limiting social media
Social media has shifted the way I feel both personally and professionally, and if you're following me on any platform, you'll notice I've scaled back on it a lot. I decided a long time ago to limit my time and learn to use it smarter and inspire people through visual storytelling, but I lost that by getting consumed with the numbers game, and trying to grow instead of sticking to my intention. I'm no longer focused on the numbers because social media will always be what it is; I'm back to focusing on telling stories that inspire you to create, grow, and live your best life.
After receiving countless rejections, I've started to reject myself before anyone else could; the negative self-talk started as soon as I thought of an [awesome] idea or project, and to avoid the rejection, I told myself no. Hello, self-sabotage. Going into the year and next few months, I'm starting to tell myself YES and starting to do all the things I thought I was too scared to do. So often we count ourselves out before we even give ourselves a chance, so I'm leaning into everything and saying yes even when I'm tired, scared, or socially anxious. What's the worst that could happen?
Though I haven't felt like myself in the past few months, I'm excited to see what this new year will bring. I'm slowly growing and getting out of my [own] way, and as I continue to put in the work, I've made a promise to myself that I will allow ME to show up in everything I do. Today and every day moving forward, I will make the conscious decision to embrace life and let life feel ME. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.