"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - Steve Jobs
I came across this quote the other day as I was reading one of my [new] favorite books, Instinct by T.D. Jakes; it has been my go-to daily book. As I commute into the office, I like to get my mind ready to take on the day and keep focused on positive energy and thoughts; this book has been doing the trick. Throughout the past few weeks, I have been connecting with some of my friends on such a deeper level and it has all begun with the simple conversation of “I’m ready for a change. I want to do something I enjoy”; and this quote puts it all into perspective. Are you living someone else's life? Living out someone else's dream or the idea of who you should be? Many times the answer is yes. So, how do we [I] change that?
Last year I attended Bevy Smith’s Life with Vision brunch and learned many valuable lessons about creating your own destiny and the main one was; you must have a vision. Creating a vision will pull you forward and allow you to have that life you've always wanted, but you must do the work. Though I've heard this countless times, I've never fully understand what it meant until recently. I’ve learned that when you are creating your vision you must shift your focus from “what I was, to what I want”. To be clear, this does not only apply to your current job or career, but to all aspects of your life. Let me say, the work isn't easy or fun, but it must be done before you can do anything else, and the work begins with you. So, how do you create this vision? Here is how I have and continue to get clearer on my vision.
Related: Stripping Down
I began with a simple list of my day-to-day, outlining what I love and what I hate. Doing this allowed me to create a better focus on those things that I love while the "hate list" focused on those things I did not want to take into my next phase. In creating this list, I also asked myself the question, "If I could do anything for the rest of my life, what would that be?" Once the list and questions were answered, I created a vision board for myself showcasing the points I loved and goals I wanted to focus on. This is very individual, and I've read many articles that have suggested different ways of doing this, but you must do what works and feels comfortable for you.
I found this next step to be the hardest, but most beneficial. Surround yourself with likeminded people! Nothing is worse than a miserable friend who is trying to bring you down. This past weekend I had a conversation with some friends who have an "envious" friend in their circle and is consistently draining them of their energy. That's an absolute no-no when you are trying to elevate to higher levels. That's not to say you are better than anyone, but some people are not meant to go with you on this next journey. What I like to say is "love them from a distance." This was a hard lesson for me, but you want people around you who are not only celebrating you but celebrating life.
In addition to real life friendships, be mindful of social media. We are in the day where everything is posted on social media and people begin to have lives that don't exist in reality. We see everyone posting about these glamorous lives and begin to feel like ours isn't so great, but we must remember not to compare ourselves to anyone. I have been guilty of this, but I constantly remind myself; "I don't know their story and they don't know mine." Also, I found limiting my time on there has allowed me to stop doing that. I allow myself a certain amount of time throughout the day to browse through social media and interact with others.
We all want to do what we love, but some of us are stuck in fear and afraid to take the steps and do the work to live our best lives. I believe we all have been conditioned to think that we must go to school, get a [good] job, [good] benefits, and retire. While there is nothing wrong with that - many people find joy in this, but many people do not; myself included. If you can relate to that, I hope this post inspires you to think differently about your current situation and elevate to a place where you are happy and fulfilled. I thank you for reading and would love to hear your feedback; leave it in the comments section below or e-mail me! Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired. - SCP