I've dealt with the feelings of rejection from an early age; as one who was never athletic, I always got picked last to be on a team, to now dealing with being out-of-work and going on countless interviews to find out I didn't get the job. The truth is; we all face rejection, and no matter how old we get or how comfortable we are with ourselves, the feelings of rejection never get easier. Rejection is a painful part of life that brings up the [many] emotions of self-worth, anger, and fear—I've personally felt all at one-time-or-another, and oftentime— all at once, and as I begin to approach new obstacles and opportunities, the fear of rejection starts to resurface—holding me back from going after what I want(ed). Over time I've learned; the more you put yourself out there and go after bigger opportunities, the greater chance there is of being rejected. But should this stop you from going after what you want? Absolutely not! I'm still learning the right way to deal with rejection, but I've found these seven ways can be the key to bringing awareness and peace into your life.
I. Acknowledge Your Emotions
One of the most important ways to deal with rejection is to confront your emotions rather than suppressing them. I've learned the hard way more times than not, that holding back what you're feeling will only make things worse; understand why you're feeling disappointed, sad, discouraged, or embarrassed; come to terms with what you're feeling and make adjustments to change it.
II. Don't Let it Define You
Keep this affirmation in mind; "what someone else thinks of me is none of my business"; this will carry you throughout many different situations in your life. When it comes to rejection, it's important to understand that one person's opinion doesn't define who you are. If a company doesn't offer you an opportunity or you're dismissed by love, don't deem yourself as incompetent or unloveable—that's not your truth. Work to remove the idea that your self-worth depends on the value of someone's opinion because it doesn't.
III. Treat Yourself with Compassion
In the world we live in today, compassion is a trait many of us are lacking, especially on social media, and many times we're treating ourselves with the same kindness the Twitter troll is treating us with—none. You have to find the compassion to treat yourself with, as you would want someone else to treat you with; drown out the noise of your inner negative voice with positive affirmations. Beating yourself up will only keep you down, so change your thinking and the way you talk to yourself.
IV. Learn From Rejection
Rejection is an opportunity for you to learn about yourself and recognize that being turned down isn't a direct reflection of you, it isn't about failure. And while rejection can feel like a step back, it can be a chance for you to discover yourself through self-growth and be stronger for the next opportunity.
V. Get Back Up
Defeat is another emotion associated with rejection that is steamed by fear, but rejection doesn't mean you're defeated. If one opportunity doesn't work out, get back up and go after the next one. Don't waste time trying to convince someone why you shouldn't be turned down, instead use that energy to prove to the someone else why you're the best.
VI. Don't Take it Personally
When you're rejected, it's easy to take it personally, but we have to stop taking everything personally because nine-times-out-of-ten, it's never about you. I'm guilty of this more times than I'd like to admit, but when you understand that most situations aren't about you, it's easier to move along. Rejection doesn't mean someone is against you or that you're unliked or unworthy; it's not up to you to figure out, cut your losses and move forward. Taking things personally, especially rejection, can lower your self-esteem and the best way to get over this is to see you aren't the problem—it's not you.
VII. Rejection isn't Always Bad
I believe that if something is for you, it will be yours, so rejection isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes rejection is pushing you towards what's already designed for you. Give yourself permission to feel and receive this.
To help you give yourself permission to live, to love, and to be exactly as you were meant to be, I have created a digital permission slip for you to download here.
We're all going to face rejection, but it's important to know that it doesn't define who you are. When you understand this and use these tools when confronted with it, you'll be able to defeat the emotions and go after every opportunity with greater enthusiasm. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.