I believe in positive thinking and having a grateful attitude, but even so, I often feel discouraged and want to give up.
Whether it's the consistent rejection and emails saying no or being ignored and looked over for potential collaborations, or not finding the perfect words to complete a blog post, I experience a lot of those moments I want to slam my computer closed, grab my blanket and glass of wine, grit my teeth, and give it all up. These instances pop-up quite frequently, more so since starting my 9-5, but I've learned to not dwell and sit in these moments and to not allow them to destroy my mood and motivation. It's not easy, but I now focus on the work and these three things.
I. Remember who you are and why you started
Everyone is going to feel defeated and discouraged in their rise to their highest self but in the [most] humble way, remember who YOU are. Their struggle isn't your struggle, just as their story isn't yours.
I saw a quote on Twitter the other day that said; "their success isn't your failure," and I was reminded, at that moment, to let go of what was stopping me from finishing these projects, open my computer and get back to work. Too often, we fall down the comparison trap and get so caught up in what other's are doing that we forget who we [truly] are and why we started.
One thing I learned early on is to have a why and always go back to that. Your why should remind you, in these moments, to keep going because the work and your purpose, and those you're working to serve, are bigger than all the feelings of discouragement.
II. Accept the feeling and show gratitude
It's not easy, it hurts, and often sucks, but allow yourself to feel what you're feeling. Write it down and say it back so you can acknowledge it without the story (I'm not enough, I don't deserve; etc) that we often create when we sit in our feelings. When you're able to see the situation and your feelings clearer, you can give yourself permission to make a choice about how to move forward. The opposite of giving up is accepting what is and meeting your life exactly where it's at and deciding on next steps from there.
The best way to get out of your feelings is to focus on all the things that are going right. Yes, I know, the last thing you want to focus on when you're feeling down and discouraged is to show gratitude, but it's proven when you practice gratitude, it will make you feel good, increase productivity, and help you develop a mindset that is positive and powerful.
III. Feelings are not a fact
Is what you're feeling a fact or just the story you created? More times than not, it's the story you've created. It took me years of therapy to understand this, but we get so deep into our feelings and the story that we've created that it clouds what's [really] going on. Understand, today, feelings are not facts, and you have the power to recreate the narrative.
Feeling discouraged isn't easy; it's a feeling of hopelessness, being stuck, and sometimes sadness, but know that this doesn't last, and you have the option to shift this energy. I encourage you to support yourself and stay in a place of giving and showing gratitude to shift your experience. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.