Fear is a complex emotion, and we [as humans] all live with some sort of fear. Whether it's fear of public speaking, animals or heights, we all have that moment where our anxiety is at its limit, and we freeze. But what happens when you become inhibited by fear? When fear stops you from being your authentic self and living the life YOU want? We first have to look at what it means to live an authentic life. Authenticity is the permission you give yourself, to be honest, and real, and not only love others but love yourself with your whole heart. When we love ourselves — with our whole heart — we feel safe and brave enough to face our fears.
Related: 5 Steps to Live Your Life Fearlessly
It's important for you to understand that there's a difference between surface and internal fears. Surface fears are physical and visual —public speaking, animals, or heights, while inner fears are those that block us from having shared connections, intimacy, and relationships that matter to the heart. Unfortunately, if our brains are wired to have these fears we cannot eliminate them – they serve a purpose, but we can learn to live with them and have them help us grow and strengthen our relationships. If we look at the fears themselves – rejection, judgment, abandonment – and look deep within ourselves to learn why we have them, we will see and understand that it's not the fear itself, but the fear of it. Meaning, we don't know how to stop our mind from thinking the anxious thought that produced the fear; therefore, we continually think about them when they usually don't exist. They only live in our minds; I call them stories.
We've all heard the saying; change your thoughts and you can change your world. It's [absolutely] true! If our thoughts don't allow us to connect with those that are beneficial to our brain, it will affect how we react, feel, and think; this will then hinder us from being our authentic self. To live and love authentically is an act of courage and takes [daily] practice, but once you do, you have the ability to rewrite the script of your life in a way that releases you from your past and allows you to live in authentic connection with yourself and others. Here's how you can do it.
If you can, stop planning your life — this is a message for me too. Life isn't about creating a roadmap; it's about living and creating opportunities that lead you to your end goals. If my life would have happened the way I planned it when I was 20, I'd now be married with kids and have a [high paying] corporate job, and bored. For so long, I found myself fighting against what my life was supposed to be to fit inside of my plans; I realized this is fear. If this is you, you're standing in your [own] way by clinging onto anything outside of yourself; eliminate this fear by looking inside and acknowledging YOU. Give yourself permission to live more and to go-with-the-flow. Experience life!
So many people believe they are not creative, but at our core, we are creative beings. Self-expression and creativity is how we expand, and it allows others to connect to you in an authentic way. Many of us are holding onto stories from our past and plans for our future that it doesn't allow us to live in the moment; if we are in this space, it's blocking your creativity. Redirect that energy to your creativity; use those stories to help create the life you were MEANT TO LIVE, not the one you planned to have.
Simple and start to the point, BE YOURSELF. Do everything that makes YOU happy, and SERVES who you want to be.
None of this is easy and takes months, sometimes years of practice, but once you start to create a routine for yourself, it will become second nature. The past few weeks in my professional life has been that hardest I've faced in the ten years of my career. Getting laid off from a very comfortable job is forcing me to get out of my comfort zone is every way possible. Many have told me it's a blessing in disguise, but human nature begins to set in, and fear starts to take over. What I'm learning is that I needed this situation to push me through the fears I have so I can live my life authenticly. As you go through life, remember that fear is natural, but don't allow it to hinder you from being the best version of yourself. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.