How to Let-go and Start Over
As the crisp air hits and I walk through the city, I can't help but reflect on the year and look back on all that has happened. For many, this time of year is about starting over and creating resolutions, but for me, it's about reflecting on the past year, learning from it, and setting [attainable] goals.
Throughout the year, I shared a number of the challenges I faced; from getting laid-off from my job to ending friendships and my grandfather passing away, 2017 was the year of loose, but like everything else, you must let-go in-order to gain. And yes, letting go is not easy, but it is necessary, and part of this was learning how to find the beauty in the empty spaces they once occupied. Good or bad, everything has taught me a lesson, and for that I am thankful. Gratitude has played a [major] role in helping me move past the pain of loose and rejection because it has forced me to focus on the moment and understand that I am [exactly] where I'm supposed to be.
Related: 7 Ways You Can Deal with Rejection
Fear is something I continue to work on letting go. We all face it, even when we want to change, and my biggest lesson is that I have to [truly] let-it-go if I want to live my best life. After having numerous conversations with friends and my mentor, I [fully] understand that I am the only one who is in the way of everything I want to do. And as I continue to work on letting this go, I'm sharing with you five steps to let-go and start over.
I. Make the decision to let-go
Things will not disappear just because you want them to; I encourage you to make the decision up-front that you need to let-go before you start working on the process. If you don't make the conscious choice up-front, you run the risk of self-sabotaging any chance of moving past the pain.
Making the decision to let-go is accepting what is and not what should have been or what you wanted it to be. Many times we get wrapped in the story we have created, and hold on to those details so-much-so, you become attached to the pain because it feels comfortable—stop living your past pain.
This year has taught me that I'm not great at communicating my feelings with the people closest to me. I am guilty of holding back how I feel to save someone else's feelings, and you will quickly learn—you can't save anyone but yourself, feelings included. Express your pain, whether it's to the person or through journaling, get it all out of your system. Also, communicate to yourself how you're feeling; go deep and understand what caused your pain.
III. Become a SURVIVOR
In every moment, you have the choice to be the victim or to take responsibility and become a survivor. Being the victim feels good because you're attached to the story and because you're on the team of you against the world. But that gets old fast, and the world doesn't care because we're all going through something, so your feelings are just one part of this thing called life, and it can get messy.
Take responsibility for your happiness and remove the power that someone or something once held over you.
IV. Focus on the moment and plan for the future
You can't undo the past, all you can do is make this moment the best moment of your life, and that all begins with letting go. Past moments will always come into your consciousness because they are memories, but when those memories come in, I encourage you to acknowledge them and then bring yourself back to the present moment.
If you've explored meditation, you know this is the bases of it. To allow your thoughts to flow in-and-out freely while focusing on the present moment.
Forgiveness is a tricky topic, and sometimes we get caught up in the pain that we find it hard to forgive. But forgiveness isn't agreeing with the outcome; it's accepting what is, forgiving, and moving on. The [most] important step in forgiveness is, forgiving yourself. We often end up blaming ourselves for a situation, and while you may have played a part in it, you get nothing out of beating yourself up over it. Let it go and forgive yourself. If you can't forgive yourself, you will not be able to forgive anyone else—how will you be able to live your best life?
Letting go is hard, trust me I get it, I'm in the mix of it right now, but it's something that must be done. As I continue to move past those things that are holding me back, I am finding new ways to let go, and I recently discovered burning rituals. Burning rituals are a great form of release and cleansing—you can download a step-by-step guide on how to doing a burning ritual below. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.