3 Reasons You Don’t Need the Support of Your Friends or Family

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“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.” – Alice Walker

I can't count how many times I've sat around waiting for my family or friends to pat me on the back and say; "good job" or "we love this," but it never came. I held a lot of resentment towards them and even ended a few relationships because they weren't showing up in a way that I expected them to; keyword expected. I was hellbent on people supporting my work, especially those closest to me, so much so that I lost focus and support (and belief) in myself worrying about who was clicking a link or retweeting a story. But over the last few months and year, I began to understand their support didn't matter, as long as those who I'm working to serve (you, my audience) supports me. While this goes against everything we're taught to believe, it boils down to seeking their validation, and ego thrives on validation. Once you let this go and the noise that feeds the ego, you will be able to give up the notion that you need the support of everyone around you to be successful. But first, understand there's a difference between support and showing up; your friends and family do not need to "buy" into what you're doing, but they need to show up and be supportive.

Related: How to Wake Up Feeling Happy, Inspired, and Productive

Their support doesn't matter

Whether you're a nurse, trainer, or blogger, your family and friends aren't your clients or target audience, so their support doesn't matter. Here's the thing, you may want them to help you study or promote your business, but let me tell you the honest truth, nine-times-out-of-ten, it's not going to happen, and that's okay. You can't make anyone support you, and while you may want or feel you need their approval, you don't. In the past, I allowed myself to believe that if said person shared my article, it was validation that it was good, but I stopped focusing on that and refocused on being useful to those I'm serving; this changed everything for me, including how I support myself.

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They don't understand

Sometimes people don't support your work because they don't understand what you're doing or what you're goals are. While it's not your job to make them understand, it's important you're very clear on your goals, so others have the opportunity to support you. Also, your goals may be out of reach for them; we've all heard the various sayings, but you can't explain to a turtle a giraffe decision, so if your work or your goals are out of reach for something, don't share it with them—you'll avoid the disappointment.

You are a mirror

A few weeks back, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who helped me understand a lot of this, and the biggest takeaway was; you are a mirror, the reflection of everything they're lacking. This means they see a lack of their progression in your progression and because of that, they're unable to support you. You can't take their criticism—positive or negative—personal; many times they are projecting their fears and insecurities on you. Remember, the people closest to you have to [literally] SEE you living your dream before they will be able to support you.

 
 

Support allows us to feel good and validated, and yes, we all want our friends and family to support us, but that's not always going to be the case, and that's okay. Keep going, you're powerful enough, by yourself; believe in that, focus on who you're working to serve, and define success on your [own] terms. Continue to Live Your Life in Style and always Be Inspired.

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